Wookin' pa nub

Regular readers of the Hell’s Kitchen Dispatch may wonder what the situation is with Joe Bones; to wit, is he spoken for, or what?

The answer is, nobody speaks for Joe Bones; but if what you really mean is, does he have a girlfriend or wife, the answer is, how can Joe Bones have a girlfriend or wife, run and promote a startup, walk Ilsa the wonder dog three times a day, try to stay in shape, practice his chops on the ukulele and then find the time to do research for and post on the Dispatch? In short, Joe Bones is as available as tickets to a Knicks game, which is to say he’s really quite available.

For the past few weeks I toyed with the idea of posting an online personal. My job involves a lot of solitary time in front of a computer, and most of the women in my building are either married or in relationships. The bottom line is, opportunity has been in short supply. So last night, I decided to take the plunge.

I visited a website a friend told me about, a site frequented by artists, writers and other creative types, and had a look around. I browsed personals posted by straight men and women to get a feel for the place. Then I typed and submitted the following for approval:

“I'm not like other guys on [name of website]. I don't own a yoga mat. I fired my shrink years ago. I'm selective in my use of irony. I don't particularly like W., but I don't hate him either. I guess I'm something of an iconoclast around here. Who knew? I'm well-traveled and travel well. Love Senegal. Can't cook shoe leather, but I actually enjoy doing dishes. It's therapeutic, more so than my shrink was. I'm high intensity, energy-wise. I work hard; in my company I'm everything from president to mop boy. I never met a park I didn't like. Love playing music and writing, as well as sparking creativity in others. My friends are few and close. Love's a rare gem. I won't play games with you. If we click, we'll know.”

I received an e-mail today saying that my personal was approved and posted. Joe Bones has officially entered the world of online dating. I briefly dabbled in this arena last year, to no avail. Believe it or not, I’m pretty shy when it comes to the fair sex, and the idea of initiating an e-mail exchange with a photo and a few paragraphs you see online still kind of freaks me out. I’ll see where this experiment leads. If anything interesting materializes, you’ll read about it here.

Sophie redux:

I saw “Sophie Scholl: The Last Days” last Saturday. It’s an intense film, dark and sad but ultimately inspiring. Apparently much of the screenplay was based on recently discovered historical records and transcripts. Stephen Whitty, of the Newark Star-Ledger, compares ‘Sophie Scholl’ with “Find Me Guilty” and “End of the Spear,” two films I haven’t seen. But he’s definitely on the same page as me in his review, particularly in this passage:

“[U]nlike the missionaries of ‘End of the Spear,’ Scholl's Christianity isn't portrayed as the answer, but simply her answer. It gives her comfort, it gives her strength and -- in the film's true moral center, a series of wrenching interrogation scenes -- it gives her the perfect response to the Nazis' cold philosophy of racial superiority and moral relativism, a living example of everything they don't understand.”

And a living example of everything Stephen Holden doesn’t understand.